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December 02, 2006
Clappity clap
“I want to thank everyone for being here. I've got a quick statement and then I'll take questions.
As you may have heard, the rumor that Jessica Alba and I, Oliver Willis are an item, has been running rampant over multiple Internets. Our best intelligence indicates that the tubes are filled with high level chatter about the alleged affair between myself and Jessica. At this time I can neither confirm nor deny these rumors, yet continue to encourage any and all guys with websites to continue reporting this story in the most certain of terms. Yes, one person claimed to see Ms. Alba and I "canoodling" when in fact as far as I can say we were "hobnobbing" with the occasional "lollygag" by myself and Jessica, according to a source that is me.
Transcript of Press Conference By blogger Oliver Willis Addressing Rumors Of an Affair With Jessica Alba”. (Reminds me of my earlier fling with singer Lisa Loeb)
At a U2 concert in Glasgow, Bono asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone: "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from near the front pierces the silence; "Well, stop clapping your hands then!"
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"Tagish" Elvis Presley, Jr. of the Yukon
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December 2, 2006 in Celebrities | Permalink
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