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March 19, 2005
The Guy on the Couch
“If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts”
Short clips from “One Soldier” and The Appointments Of Dennis Jennings
I Was Trying to Daydream ... But My Mind Kept Wandering
A long Onion’s AV Club interview, January 29, 2003
Short sound snippets from ”Half Baked”, where Steven Wright played “The Guy on the couch”
“Fake” Steven Wright sayings by Rod Schmidt:
I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
I had amnesia once or twice.
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. So I looked closer. It was made of grass.
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Smoking cures weight problems... Eventually...
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
A metaphor is like a simile.
Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
A large collection of Steven Wright One-liners and other comedians Here
March 19, 2005 in Comedians - Steven Wright | Permalink
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