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January 23, 2005

Rectal glaucoma

Israeli_sign_1PERSON 1: That's an awful gash you've got on your forehead! How did you get it?
PERSON 2: I bit myself.
PERSON 1: How the hell did you manage to bite yourself on the forehead?
PERSON 2: I stood on a chair.

Defective Yeti, inventor of jokes

Top Ten Reasons to Procrastinate:

Totally Waspy Jokes about your mother. (Thank you, Karen)

With mean friends like that who needs enemies?

From “Dribble Glass”: I called my boss to tell him I'll be out sick. The boss pressed for specifics, so I said, "Sir, I have rectal glaucoma ." "And what does that mean?" asked the boss. "I just can't see my ass coming in to work today." I replied

Five Things I'm Glad I Learned By Watching The Mistakes of Others

"What's for lunch?" my husband asked as I worked in the garden.
"Whatever you prepare," I replied curtly. "Imagine I'm dead. What would you do then?" "Okay," he said, and disappeared into the kitchen. An hour later I called to him from the garden and asked how it was going. "Very well," he replied. "I had a lovely salad." "What about me?" I asked. "I thought you were dead," he said.

It was not the detergent that killed the dog

A few lame reactions to the worst joke in the history of mankind

The sign on the Israeli store in the photo above reads: “We are open! We have a suicide bomber every other day. Yesterday we had one.” Many More Jokes and other Funny Stuff Here

January 23, 2005 in Jokes | Permalink


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