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November 28, 2004
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After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No habla ingles." From GQ’s 100 Funniest Jokes of All Time. Also there, “This greasy spoon restaurant was so bad, on the menu there were even flies in the pictures”
Funniest joke ever told by a dog
A middle-aged man and his wife are out to dinner to celebrate her forty-fifth birthday.
He says, "So, what would you like, Sarah? A Jaguar? A mink coat? A diamond necklace? A cruise?"
She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."
He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," a student wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey." Also, from The Friars Club Jokebook:
It was the end of the school year and the students were giving their teacher gifts. The teacher knew the profession of the kids' parents so she would guess what they got her.
The florist's daughter gave her a box, she put it over her head and shook it. "Are they flowers?" asked the teacher, the student replied, "How did you know?"
Then the candy shop owner's son came with a box, she put it over her head and said "Is it candy?" The student said, "How'd you know??"
Then the liquor store owner's son, Johnny, came and the teacher saw the box leaking. She put her finger on it, sucked juice of the finger and said, "Is it wine?"
Johnny shook his head. Then she licked it again, "Vodka?"
Johnny replied, "No. It's a puppy."
Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide. From a large cache of science jokes
(The point about jokes is that if you heard them all, you’ve heard them all. But how to remember a good joke when you need one?) Many More Crazy Jokes Here
November 28, 2004 in Jokes | Permalink
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