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May 01, 2004

Jewish Senior Schlepped To Emergency Room (Headline from “The Onion”)

rabbi_stillThousands of Jewish Jokes:

It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" Moshe asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

A man arrives at Ben-Gurion Airport with two large bags.
The customs agent opens the first bag and finds it full with money so he asks the passenger, "How did you get this money?"
The man says, "You will not believe it, but I traveled all over Europe, went into public restrooms, each time I saw a man pee, I grabbed his organ and said, "donate money to Israel or I will cut-off your testicles."
The customs agent is stunned and mumbles: "well...it's a very interesting story... what do you have in the other bag?"
The man says, "You would not believe how many people in Europe do not support Israel"...

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. “

A Rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "shmuck." At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and forgot to write a letter.”

Signs on Synagogue Bulleting Boards:
- Come early for a good seat.

An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and brought to the local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Epstein, are you comfortable?"
Epstein replies, "I make a nice living...."

More Yiddish Links Here

May 1, 2004 in Yiddish | Permalink


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