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January 31, 2004

Here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” California Links

Eagle_cover 226 California Cam-sites

3 days in Yosemite - 11/2/03

Aerial Photography of California (From "Metafilter")

Bakersfield Sound - 12/27/03

Bodie - A Ghost Town - 11/22/03

Bonfante Gardens in Santa Cruz - 11/7/03

California Bridge Design - 11/12/03

California's Citrus Growers brands (Vs. Apple and pear case labels from Tasmania) and get the complete World of Fruit Labels

California Diners Take out from restaurants (From "Diner City") - 7/12/03

California Driving - A survival Guide

California Recall Election 2003

California State Senate - 9/7/03

"Capitol Impact" provides political process services and information, that permits you to collect, organize and present demographic information... - 9/24/03

Castles in California

Torrey Pines Glider Point of La Jolla (From Emese Gaal)

Claude Bell's Cabazon's dinosaurs and Yucca Valley's Desert Christ Park - 11/9/03

Ecco Park and Boyle Heights photo galleries

Experience California's Earthquakes

Giant Pumpkin Cartoon Carving in Half Moon Bay - 10/18/03

Gold Rush in Photographs - 11/25/03

Hate Groups in California (From "Incoming signals") - 11/12/03

Henry Miller Library in Big Sur

Huell Howser's California Gold - 11/16/03

Illustrated History of Professional Wrestling in Northern California (From "Information Junk") - 11/10/03

Jud Fine sculpture at The Los Angeles Public Library and LA Public Library Historic Resources

LA Architecture-Tours

LA Street Gangs

Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo

Mojave Desert Spectacular (From "Gravity Lens") and The Mojave Phone Booth

News of the Weird - 12/9/03

Nostalgia for old motels - 11/17/03

Orange County, California

Palm Springs Air Museum (From Execuplan in Irvine) - 7/27/03

Pasadena Tournament of Roses Timeline and historical photo gallery. Also other Los Angeles Photos - 8/2/03

Police Cars of California cities

Recent Earthquakes in California

Sacramento Trap Shooting Club , blasting clay pigeons into smithereens (From "Things to do in Sacramento")

San Diego Zoo Panda Cam - 9/28/03

San Francisco - 11/29/03

Sun_haze Santa Barbara Courthouse

Some Fun Facts about "The Gold Rush"

Surf Diva , World's 1st Surf School for Women & Girls

The Alexander Revivalists of Palm Spring - 9/11/03

The Los Angeles Cathedral

The pool of Hearst Castle's San Simeon

The Salton Sea

The Social Daunce Irregulars, Victorian Grand Balls in Pasadena

Visiting California's Lighthouses - 12/8/03

Witches' Covens - 176 groups

You know you're in California when.... - 8/31/03

Zabriskie Point (From "Things Magazine")

Many More Unusual Stories From California, from Hawaii and from Iowa Here

January 31, 2004 in California | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Rubik’s Cube Links.

Rubik_cube 2X2X2 Cubes

4-dimensional Rubik's cube

Brain Power Group

Charles & Diane and M.C. Escher Cubes. (From George Helms's collection of Rubik's cubes and related puzzles)

Color Cube - 7/11/03

Dan Knights' Speed Cubing - 18 second video!

David Byrden's Twisty Puzzles in Java

Eviltron - 11/11/03

How to get really fast - 11/29/03

Impossible Objects from John Rausch - Apple Juice Bottle - 7/10/03

Inside the Cube - 8/9/03

Interactive cube

Jaap Scherphuis's puzzle page

Lego Rubik Cube Solver. (From Pickover Report)

Lube Your Cube

Magic Polyhedra Patents

Nicolas F. Shi's Pop Cubism...

Road map to Rubik's Puzzles and the 5x5x5 Cube

Rubik's Artwork

Rubik's Biography in “Famous Hungarians”

Rubik's Clock. (From Wibbler) - 9/28/03 (and How it works)

Rubik's World record holders

The Cube Disassembled

The Official Rubik's cube website

Virtual Cube

Wayne Johnson's puzzle collection and strange Inventions - 7/10/03

World Rubik's Competition 2003

Everything You Need To Know About Rubik’s Cube and Hundreds of Other Games Here

January 31, 2004 in Games - Rubik's Cube | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 Grow-a-Brain Hawaii links

Hawaii_orchid_155 species of Scleractinian corals (From "Information Junkie") - 10/31/03

Alternative Hawaii Calendar

Barkcloth Hawaii's links of Retro arts & Crafts

Best thing to do on Maui is to watch the sunrise from the top of Mount Haleakala, and then bike downhill for 38 miles

Bikini Atoll and the Atomic Tourist

Birds in Hawaii

Charles Lindberg's grave

Cooking with Lava (and Current Eruption Status of Kilauea Volcano -10/23/03)

Da Hawaii Pidgin Bible - 8/25/03

Father Damien and the Last Lepers on Molokai

Flight Guide over Beatle George Harrison's house in Hana, and Swimming with the Beatle near his home

Guy Buffet collection at the Lahaina Gallery

Hawaiian Music - A Brief History (From "No Sense of Place")

Hawaiian Royalty and The Iolani Palace, official residence of King Kalakaua

Hemp House of Paia, an old hippy town (From the HIA, Hemp Industries Association)

History of Sugar

"Hobbit House" on Big Island - 10/18/03

Honolulu Bomb Squad - (From the mother lode of all "Bomb Squad Links" or any other " Law Enforcement Links") - 9/22/03

Hunter Thompson's "Curse of Lono"

Hula Archives

Impress your family & friends by learning to say Popular Hawaiian Words and Phrases - 12/11/03

I want to learn to Speak Hawaiian

Kingdom of Hawai'i declares independence - 8/30/03

Luxury homes, Presented by Oleg Potiomkin. Are you ready to live like a King? (From "Attu") - 1/15/04

Make your dream come true and move to Hawaii. (From "Information Junk") - 1/3/04

Maui Space Surveillance System (MSSS)

Mauna Kea Observatories can be visited at sunset - 11/23/03

My Little Grass Shack by Cowboy Jack Clement, (From "Accordion Guy") - 8/23/03

Na Pali Coast (From "Ghost in the Machine") - 8/7/03

Pacific Tsunami Museum

Photo Gallery from The Hawaii Center for Volcanology

Photographs by Grant Rohloff of Pipeline Surfing in the 60's - 8/5/03


Pink Hotel, from the Joni Mitchell Discussion List - 8/23/03

Poi Recipes

Putting' Up the Ritz in Kapalua, and The Ritz-Carlton Club


Road Signs in Hawaii (From Traffic Signs of the World)

Stamps of Hawaii's Royalty


The Hawaiian Fire Dept. Jet Powered Fire Truck - The fastest Fire Truck in the World, (From "Weird Links") - 8/15/03

The House of Pride, by Jack London, 1912

Transparent Kayaks from "Clear Blue Hawaii" - 8/16/03

Treehouse in Hana and in the rest of Hawaii - 10/9/03

Triggerfish, or ”Humuhumunukunukuapua”, the unofficial state fish of Hawaii - 10/1/03

Underground Caves (From The National Speleological Society)

Vintage Hawaiiana (From "Plep") - 10/18/03

Vintage Hawaiian Shirts (From "Jazz Cafe") - 10/17/03

Wave Refraction at Jaws, Maui

More Unusual Links about Hawaii Here

January 31, 2004 in Traveling Places - Hawaii | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Brainier Links

BrainyABTA Dictionary for Brain Tumor Patients

Become a brain donor

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, Wrestler

Brain Bashers and Brain Food - Puzzles For the Brain To Gnaw On

Brainpop for kids

Brain products, from molds to caps

Brains for zombies (From Geisha Asobi) - 7/30/03

Brain Songs for kids - 10/11/03

Brain Transplantation is the way to the Future. (From The Richard Montgomery Matter) - 9/13/03

Comparative Mammalian Brain Collections

Craig Duckett's Belief & Brain Research. Tons of links - 1/3/04

Everything You Wanted To Know About Brain & Neuro Surgery

Jonathon Keats, He Thinks, Therefore He Sells - 10/18/03

How To Grow A Brain - 8/23/03

Is Buddhist Meditation good for you? - 9/14/03

Kohler's Logic Problems

Life Extension Topics by Ben Best - 9/7/03

Lobe Budget Cinema - 10/25/03

Morans.jpg (Visit growabrain.net, and learn to spell "Moron")

Mensa International

Mike Tyson Fails to "Grow a Brain" - 9/12/03

Robotics & Smart Machines

Scientists develop 'Brain Chip'

The Secret Life of the Brain

The Whole Brain Atlas

Viagra for the Brain by Robert Langreth. (From The Hedonistic Imperative) - 9/1/03

Many More Intelligent Links and Brainier Links Here

January 31, 2004 in Brainier | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Eclectic License Plates Links.

Pms_2471976 License Plates

3 from "Art for Housewives" : Michael Kalish' Plate Art , License plate purses made into Recycled Art and License Plate Journal - 11/6/03

50th (!) Annual International Convention of the Automobile License Plate Collectors Association

Armenian Plate Frames

Atheist Plate yanked

Bumper-stickers from Buzznet - 12/27/03

calpl8s - California Plates

Dictionary of Vanity Plates

Drew's Mexican Motorcycle License Plate Collection - 12/29/03

Fifty States

First German Museum for license plates

Gay Son Plate & the State of Michigan (From "Reality Carnival" ) - 12/20/03

Internet Gallery

Juggling License Plates - 12/2/03

Large Mouth Bass plate from the Florida Specialty License Plates Index

Massachusetts was the first state to issue license plates

Mexican Plates

Make you own License Plates

Novelty plates

Over 10,000 plates for sale

Palindromes & Four-equal-character Crazy Dutch plates

Photo-Blocker spray foils traffic cameras

Poetic Plates from "One Pot Meal"

RT's Blank Plates

Blond_car Scouting Plates

Silicon Zoo in Molecular Expressions - MIPS chip designers have a tendency to place California license plates on their chips...

"Smoking Gun" stories of offesive Plates

Special Interest License Plate Ordering Information at the California DMV, and in Maine

United Arab Emirates Plates (From "License Plates of the World" )

What does Hitler's Mercedes Benz reads? "ADOLF1"... License Plates on "The Simpsons" - 1/20/04

Willy Nelson's "State of the Arts" Plates

Many More Unusual License Plates And Other Automotive Links Here

January 31, 2004 in Cars - License Plates | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Here are the Eclectic Candy Art Links from 1/11/04

AmezaikuAmezaiku is a Japanese art of candy art making. Here is an amezaiku Artist Entertaining kids

Be sure to check out the galleries of these Sugar Cube Sculptures at "Home Sweet Home" and the 2003 Oklahoma State Sugar Art Show. (From MonkeyFilter) - 1/7/04

Instructions in Confectionery

Mexican Day-of-the-Dead-Sugar-Skulls (From Muxway) - 8/23/03 (And Mexican Candy - 11/2/03)

Mike's Amazing Cakes

Philippe Parc, French instructor in pastry making

Wagashi Confectionery art

Spun Sugar Creations

Tracee Vandenborn's Gallery

Wedding Cakes by Mag-pie in Knoxville, TN

Pink Cupcakes

More unique links about Candy Art And Other Unusual Sweets Here

January 31, 2004 in Food - Candy Art | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Eclectic Home Decor Links.

Toilet_seat_23-D Stone Pavers

A collection of egg chairs

Andy Plant Gazebo Head - 12/27/03

Art boxes & lamps. (From Sachs Report) - 9/28/03

Artful Mailboxes by Ruth Welter

Ayala Serfati Creations, innovative lighting and furniture concepts

Blue Bedroom by Matt Hinrichs - 8/26/03

Blue Frog Goods - 10/26/03

Building A Wooden Periodic Table Table

Ceramic bird Garglers, by Douglas Fey. (From Sugar-n-spicy)

Cloth Birds on a String - 8/29/03

Cloud - A portable Room

Colored fire stones. (From Metafilter) - 10/7/03

Decorating Martha Stewart's New digs. (From Worth 1000)

"Doors" - 11/22/03

Dry Toilet, waterless, odourless, chemical free toilet. (From Imshin) - 9/20/03

Eclectic Electric - 8/6/03

Elf Head Ashtray - 10/25/03

Endless Pools - 7/10/03

Enjoy Eco-spheres - enclosed ecosystem glass-bowls

Etched Pebbles - 9/01/03

Fantastic Faucets

Fence Calculator, Tile Estimator, Grass Seed Calculator and Paint Estimator . Many more Home Design Calculators from Living Home Magazine - 12/11/03

Feng-Shui your home with Karen Rauch Carter

Fire Safety And Prevention Tips. (From The Onion)

Fishtank out of "Apple" Cube - 11/20/03

Fruit and vegetable Throw Pillows. (From Eclecticat) - 8/20/03

Garden Gnomes and Toad Sprinkler Recall

Garden lounge chairs: By Henry Hall, Robert Martin and Restoration Hardware

Giraffic Park Art - 8/30/03

The Simpsons Door Keys

Home Improvement Collage (From "800 X 600 Project")

House Numbers from RachelZtile: the finishing touch to a house

How to build an Indoor Swimming Pools when you live in an apartment - 7/16/03

Hi-Tech Homes of Cincinnati

Joy of Shards, mosaics and mosaic making information - 12/16/03

Leg Lamps - 9/21/03

Lighting & Accessories from Lee's Studio

Light-switches (From Information Junkie) -10/30/03

Lily Tomlin's Cheese Museum - 11/2/03

Marble and granite door knobs

Mood light and Lighting By Gregory

Moon Shine Shades

Old Coffee Machines. (From Things Magazine) - 9/13/03

One of the least offensive designs from Subversive Cross Stitches, only $75 (includes shipping) for finished piece, unframed - Do not click-back if you are easily offended.. - 11/17/03

"Iron Steel" by Orna Givon, the famous Israeli interior decorator - 8/16/03

Persian Rugs. (From Cord Shows) - 7/13/03

Rainbow_arch_2 Raw Style Furnitures - 7/10/03

Refrigerator Art

Swarm of Locusts Plaguedome - 10/7/03

Sweets, The construction's product marketplace - 12/13/03

"Tack-O-Rama" (From Bifurcated Rivets) - 9/25/03

The new Jacuzzi's "La Scala" entertainment system / whirlpool bath

Tramp Lamps - 10/18/03

Tree in a box - 11/1/03

Water fountains

Many More Unusual Design Concepts Here

January 31, 2004 in Home Decor | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

"Dyselxics Have More Nuf" –
Steven Wright Jokes

Steven_wright_jokes Favorite Steven Wright Joke and clips (From The Official Steven Wright Website)

IMDb's filmography

One hand clapping

Last night, I walked up to this beautiful woman in a bar and
asked her, "Do you live around here often?" She said, "You're
wearing two different colored socks." I said, "Yes, but to me
they're the same because I go by thickness." Then she asked,
"How do you feel?" and I said, "Well, you know when you're
sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs
then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last
second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time."

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I
think I've forgotten this before.

Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic. I mimic my

I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one... It
wasn't doing what I was doing.

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right
in front of me -- and I didn't hear it.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it
is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I
say, "I think I might have written that."

He asked me if I knew what time it was. I said, "Yes, but not
right now."

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally
walk through into another dimension.

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely
abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.

My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going
to move to New York.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

I'm so hyper... (Said with a very dull voice.)

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Four years ago... No, it was yesterday.
Today I... No, that wasn't me.
Sometimes I... No, I don't.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the
entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said,
"Wish you were here."

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up,
and smile for a satellite picture.

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Sorry, my mind was wandering. One time my mind went all the way
to Venus on mail order and I couldn't pay for it.

I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says,
"Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it. I
also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it.
People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it
on all the beaches of the world... Perhaps you've seen it.

It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died
they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They
said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that
much time.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from
the statues that are in all the other museums.

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings...
Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.

One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had
been done by children. They had all the paintings up on

Last time I went to the movies I was thrown out for bringing my
own food. My argument was that the concession stand prices are
outrageous. Besides, I haven't had a Bar-B-Que in a long time.

One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab. The movie cost me

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00,
children $2.50. So I said, "Give me two boys and a girl."

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So
I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big
buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what
kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor
to it.

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices.
in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

I used to be a waiter, but I was fired for clearing tables. I
was clearing them for take off. I had them all lined up
outside. People thought it was an outdoor cafe. I said, "No,
these are leaving at 3." They were going to fire me anyway,
because I told them I thought they should put the wrapper on the
inside of the straw since that's the part you don't want to get

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything

Years ago, I worked in a natural, organic health food store in
Seattle, Washington. One day a man walked in and asked, "If I
can melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?" Two days
later I was fired for eating cotton candy and drinking straight
Bosco on the job.

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The
clerk said, "ten-four."

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet
supplies." So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that
said "compact cars"...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got
there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the
sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They
ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything
I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was
in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they
weren't included. So I had to buy them again.

I went into a clothes store the other day and a salesman walked
up to me and said, "Can I help you?" and I said "Yeah, do you
got anything I like?" He said, "What do you mean do we have
anything you like?" I said, "You started this."

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale.
She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone
bought anything today.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday.
Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to
the Gift Wrap Department and told them to wrap it, but in a
different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

Friday, I was in a bookstore and I started talking to a French
looking girl. She was a bilingual illiterate -- she couldn't
read in two different languages.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put
them in the same room and let them fight it out. Then I filled
my humidifier with wax, and now my room is all shiny.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I
don't get it...

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I
laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.

My VCR flashes 01:35, 01:35, 01:35, ...

I have the oldest typewriter in the world. It types in pencil.

I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

Under my bed I have shoe box full of telephone rings. Whenever
I get lonely I open it up just a bit and I get a call. One time
I dropped the box all over the floor and the phone wouldn't stop
ringing, so I had it disconnected. I bought a new phone though.
I didn't have much money so I had to buy an irregular phone --
it had no number 5 on it. I saw a close friend of mine the
other day... He said, "Steven, why haven't you called me?" I
said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five
on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't
know... My calendar has no sevens on it."

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called
someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said,
"Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They
said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I
said, "I'll wait."

I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called
Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't
find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they

I got an answering machine for my phone. Now when I'm not home
and somebody calls me up, they hear a recording of a busy
signal. I like to leave messages before the beep.

I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone
inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a
call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to
the pet store -- "Gimme another ten guppies, I got a lotta calls

I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it
on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I
could only stutter in Spanish.

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the
wires backwards. I erased all of the records. When I returned
them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."

I got tired of calling the movies to listen to what is playing
so I bought the album.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
The guy who wrote that song wrote everything.

My grandfather invented Cliff's Notes. It all started back in
1912... Well, to make a long story short ...

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done, so now I
just have to fill in the rest.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I wrote a few children's books... Not on purpose.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading
accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

I installed a skylight in my apartment.... The people who live
above me are furious!

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me
designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across
the hall tried to rob a department store... With a pricing
gun... She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm
marking down everything in the store."

While I was gone, somebody rearranged all the furniture in my
bedroom. They put it in *exactly* the same place it was. When
I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?"

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything.
Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check.
Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut
it out."

Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick
wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one
who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch
it... It feels real."

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms
above... So I never have to go upstairs.

One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the
flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and
took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was
lightning in my house.

All the plants in my house are dead -- I shot them last night.
I was torturing them by watering them with ice cubes.

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity...
If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on
your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater
real quick.

I've never seen electricity, so I don't pay for it. I write
right on the bill, "I'm sorry, I haven't seen it all month."

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the
neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get
out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how
I got there.

The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house
with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it
around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over.
He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer". Later,
I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all the cars,
"Get out of my driveway!"

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really
notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.

For a while I didn't have a car... I had a helicopter... no
place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it
running... (Slow glance upward.)

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights.
I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it
looks like I'm the only one moving.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my
car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I've been
arrested three times for practicing.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one
out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left
earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... The tires got

My neighbor has a circular driveway... He can't get out.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park
anywhere near the place.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now.
But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."

Last year we drove across the country. We switched on the
driving... Every half mile... We had one cassette tape to
listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some
people must be really tired.

I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I say,
"Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I saw it once
in a cartoon, but I think I can do it."

I decided to leave and go to California, so I packed up my
Salvador Dali print of two blindfolded dental hygienists trying
to make a circle on an Etch-a-Sketch, and I headed for the
highway and began hitching. Within three minutes I got picked
up by one of those huge trailer trucks carrying 20 brand new
cars. I climbed up the side of the cab and opened the door.
The guy said, "I don't have much room up here, why don't you get
into one of the cars out back." So I did. And he was really
into picking people up because he picked up 19 more. We all had
our own cars. Then he went 90 miles per hour and we all got
speeding tickets.

A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, "Why were you going so
fast?" I said, "See this thing my foot is on? It's called an
accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the
engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this
thing? This steers it."

I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said,
"Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes,
officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..."

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said,
"Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't
believe everything I read."

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose.
Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer
and farther, trying to see it clearly)... And says, "Here, you
can go."

We were in Salino, Utah when we were arrested for not going
through a green light. We pleaded "maybe". I asked the judge
if he knew what time it is, he did, and I said, "No further

I went to court for a parking ticket. I pleaded insanity. I
said, "Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in
the passing lane?"

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great
parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask
me if I'm leaving.

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... When I came
back the entire area was missing.

I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept
locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot
stepladder with a coathanger.

One night a jet flew a little bit too close to my house. I was
walking from the living room to the kitchen, and the stewardess
told me to sit down.

When I go, I'm flying Air Bizarre. It's a good airline. You
buy a one way round trip ticket. You leave any Monday, and they
bring you back the previous Friday... That way you still have
the weekend.

I have a friend named Dennis. Both of his parents were midgets,
but he isn't a midget. He's a midget-dwarf. He's two inches
tall. He's the one who poses for trophies.

A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to
go. You'll just be walking down the street, and...
Ooooohhhhhh, that's much better...

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends
went to the funeral in one car.

I owed my friend George $25. For about three weeks I owed it to
him. The whole time I had the money on me -- he didn't know it.
Walking through New York City, 2:30 in the morning and got held
up. He said, "Gimme all your money." I said, "Wait a minute."
I said, "George, here's the 25 dollars I owe you." The the
thief took a thousand dollars out of his own money and he gave
it to George. At gunpoint made me borrow a thousand dollars
from George.

I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's
called, "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm
Not Raking 'Til Spring."

My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this
tour. I said, "the whole time."

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep,
I go over there and write misspelled words on them.

So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there
anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting
attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't
really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to
die because my birth certificate has an expiration date.

I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said,
"Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how."
She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and
hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out
of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said
"I thought I told you to go to sleep."

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that
means it's going to be up all night.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you
sleep good?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's
satellite dish. My dreams showed up on TVs all over the world.

I was once arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.

It's a good apartment because they allow pets. I have a
Shetland pony named Nikkie. Last summer Nikkie was involved in
a bizarre electrolysis accident. All her hair was removed
except for her tail. Now I rent her out to Hare Krishna family

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the
apartment somewhere.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on
their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat
and drop it?

I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to
call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went
insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East
German Shepherd.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures
of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building... on
the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm
afraid of widths.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a
dotted line. He caught every other fish.

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore
looking like an idiot.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the

(Referring to a glass of water:) I mixed this myself. Two
parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!

They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning...
(Picks up his glass of water from the stool...) I like to live
on the edge...

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.

I was born by Caesarean section... But not so you'd notice.
It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the

When I was a baby, I kept a diary. Recently, I was rereading
it. It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 --
Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot."

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a
closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator

I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy
subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and
then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you
have any toy train schedules?"

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand
box. I was an only child... Eventually.

When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was
a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running
down the street on a purple wooden horse.

When I was eight, I played Little League. I was on first; I
stole third; I went straight across. Earlier that week, I
learned that the shortest distance between two points was a
direct line. I took advantage of that knowledge.

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't
find tractors small enough to fit it.

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his
birthmark until he was eight years old.

My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked,
I'm in the band."

When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for
twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic.
When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but
he didn't obey.

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the
beach... It pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and
say, "What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so
later I can ask him what he meant.

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building... I
changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and
landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened
and one turned to the other and said, "See, that's how it's

I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have
been serious because I brought a beach towel.

I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after
me... I pushed "1" and he just stood there... I said, "Hi,
where you going?" He said, "Phoenix." So I pushed Phoenix. A
few seconds later the doors opened, two tumbleweeds blew in...
We were in downtown Phoenix. I looked at him and said, "You
know, you're the kind of guy I want to hang around with." We
got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert. Then
the phone rang. He said, "You get it." I picked it up and
said, "Hello?"... The other side said, "Is this Steven
Wright?"... I said, "Yes..." The guy said, "Hi, I'm Mr.
Jones, the student loan director from your bank. It seems you
have missed your last 17 payments, and the university you
attended said that they received none of the $17,000 we loaned
you. We would just like to know what happened to the money?" I
said, "Mr. Jones, I'll give it to you straight. I gave all of
the money to my friend Slick, and with it he built a nuclear
weapon... And I would appreciate it if you never called me

One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the
most gorgeous blond Chinese girl... I sat beside her. I said,
"Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't
it?," and she said, "I saw my analyst today and he says I have a
problem." So I asked, "What's the problem?" She replied, "I
can't tell you. I don't even know you..." I said, "Well
sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger
on a bus." So she said, "Well, my analyst said I'm a
nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys... By the way, my
name is Denise." I said, "Hello, Denise. My name is Bucky

Now I'm going to tell you about the girl I'm seeing now. I met
her at a Macy's in New York. She was buying clothes, and I was
putting slinkies on the escalators. The girl I'm seeing now,
Rachel, is a very pretty girl. She has emerald eyes and long,
flowing plaid hair. The last week in August, we went camping
way up in Canada. We were laying around in the woods and stuff,
and I don't know how she did it but she got poison ivy on her
brain and the only way she can scratch it is if she thinks about
sandpaper. She's a rich girl, she's from somewhere else. And
her father is an incredible millionaire. He's the guy who
designed the diagram to show you which way to put the batteries
in something. Having sex with Rachel is amazing. It's like
going to a concert. She yells a lot. She throws frisbees
around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.

Last time I went skiing, I had to get up at 5:00 in the morning.
I knew I couldn't do that, so I slept with my skis on. My ride
came at 5:30 in the morning, couldn't wake me up so he carried
me out of the house, put my skis on the roof rack of the car,
and drove to the mountain. Seventeen miles later, I woke up out
of this incredibly bizarre dream that I was skydiving
horizontally. I'm sure this has happened to you.

A while ago, I went skiing in England. It was a rare package:
two weeks in England, one night in Connecticut, two weeks in
England. I said, "Yes, I'll take it." I got on this chairlift
with this guy I didn't know. We went halfway up the mountain
without saying a word. Then he turned to me and said, "You
know, this is the first time I've gone skiing in ten years." I
said, "Why did you take such a long time off?" He said, "I was
in prison. Want to know why?" I said, "Not really. Well, you
better tell me why." He said, "I pushed a total stranger off a
Ferris wheel." I said, "I remember you."

I looked out my apartment window, and I saw a bird wearing
sneakers and a button saying, "I ain't flying no where." I
said, "What's your problem buddy?" He said, "I'm sick of this
stuff -- winter here, summer there, winter here, summer there.
I don't know who thought this stuff up, but it certainly wasn't
a bird." I said, "Well, I was just making breakfast, come on
in. Want some eggs? Sorry."

One night I came home very late. It was the next night.

After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

I was arrested for selling illegal-sized paper.

The ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays "Helter, Skelter."

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.

I lost a button hole today. Where am I gonna find another one?

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

Factorials were someone's attempt to make math *look* exciting.

I took a baby shower.

I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic.

I washed mud, off of mud.

How young can you die of old age?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

On the other hand... You have different fingers.

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

Women... Can't live with 'em... Can't shoot 'em.

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the
money go?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I'll let you
have the pen!

What do batteries run on?

Are there any questions?

I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim suit that I had
made out of sponges. I remember one time when I wore it. When
I got out of the swimming pool nobody could go swimming until I
came back.

I bought one of those little glass ball things with the snow in
it. You know, you turn it upside down then you turn it back and
it starts to snow. I bought one, except this has a snow plow
that does it in rows.

(Later:) I bought one of those little glass ball things with
the snow in it... Just checking.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer
thinks he can get me five.

Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put
your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole
package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes
she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a
rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on
a tree.

I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back...
Boy, were they mad!

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can.
Fred, Barney...

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and
act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room

I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini
locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of
Norman Rockwell beating up a child.

I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for
reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses.

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got
pretty good. He could go under a rug.

I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency
Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... The
study of milkmen.

Today I was arrested for scalping low numbers at the deli. I
sold a #3 for 28 bucks.

I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a
full house and four people died.

I was walking down the street and saw a sign on a post. It
said: "Lost -- $50. If found, just keep it."

I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else's

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you
get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get to work.

The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose
twice. Everything had two shadows.

Some people think George is weird, because he has sideburns
behind his ears. I think George is weird, because he has false
teeth. With braces on them. George is a radio announcer, and
when he walks under a bridge... You can't hear him talk.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had
any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said "Help Wanted." There
was another sign below it that said "Self Service." So I hired
myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I
paid myself. Then I quit.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the
roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that
he just whipped out a quarter?

I want to get a tatoo of myself on my entire body, only 2"

I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off
infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing
lines on curved roads.

This is my impression of a bowling ball... (Drags the mike
along the floor, then lifts it...) Gutter...

I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather.
The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay.
He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I
figured the game *he* was watching was better.

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling
asleep, you're reading, reading... And all of a sudden you
notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

A large collection of Steven Wright One-liners and other comedians Here

January 31, 2004 in Comedians - Steven Wright | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 Music Links from The Middle East

Sultan_of_bagdad Ad Or Haboker - 10/24/03


Armik, Nuevo Flamenco

Arik Einstein Ringtones... and photo album

Burqua Band from Afganistan - 9/12/03

Chava Alberstein's lyrics

Belly Dance Museum, Belly Dance LP's from the 60'sand Yasmina's Joy of Belly Dancing

Eclectic Links about the Middle East

Farid el Atrash - The greatest Egyptian male singer of all time

Gabi Berlin's Sing-alone, (He is my cousin's cousin)

Googoosh The Iranian Maria Callas (From "The Iranian") - 10/19/03

HaGashashim, Israeli comedy group - 10/11/03

Halutsim, Israeli rap - 10/11/03

Hundred most outstanding Israeli rock albums since 1969

Hannie Abokhamis - Palestinian Desert Techno - 11/16/03

History of Klezmer music

Idan Raichel Project, haunting modern Ethiopian music (From Gil Shterzer)

Ilham Al Madfai, the coolest Iraqi Singer Ever

Israeli-born Ishtar, "Oriental pop" singer in Paris - 10/16/03

Israeli sensation, Haim Moshe and his oriental-style hit songs (From the ultimate "Israeli Music" website, which offers similar short samplings of practically all Israeli musicians, for example, Greek-style Shlomi Seranga , Gad Elbaz and Aris San. Listen to the whole list here).

Israel's hip-hop king, Rapper "Subliminal" Wins Fans and Angers Critics - 12/11/03

Laila Murad - 10/2/03

Maqam - Fine Arabic & Middle Eastern Music

Massoud Shaari

Middle Eastern Dance Camp

Nana Mouskouri

Nostalgic Israeli songs from the 50's & 60's and from the 20's & 30's

Oi Va Voi - 11/16/03

Omar Faruk Tekbilek - 11/16/03

Oud Musik - Mohammed El-Bakkar, "The Man, the Music, the Legend", (Thank you Incoming Signals) and Mike - Master of the Oud

Remembering Ofra Haza

Robert Gass and "On Wings Of Song" , choral arrangements of sacred vocals, from the one & only "Radio Nonbiri"

Saddam Hussein music videos

Samira Saeed - 11/16/03

Samir Shukry - 10/28/03

Sarit Hadad , the "Israeli Celine Dion"

Sefarad Records (From JAFI links)

Shoshana Damari singing "Kalaniyot" - 10/11/03

Some Jewish Cantors on 78 rpm records, and "Chazzanut", a site on Jewish Liturgical Music

Songs of Assyria - 11/16/03

Sudanese Music from Michael Huether

Surfy Hava Nagila - 10/13/03

The Freedman Archive, over 25,000 Yiddish and other Jewish songs and albums

Theodorakis's strong feelings about the war in Iraq

Today's Hit-parade in Israel (Thanks, Lorien)

True History of the Dumbek ("Tamboor") - 10/24/03

Tunisian Radio

Umm Kulthum, The Star of the East - The greatest Egyptian female singer of all time

"Unknown to No One", The next Iraqui music sensation

Yair Dalal - 11/16/03

Yehoram Gaon - 8/30/03

More About Music From The Middle East Here

January 31, 2004 in Music from the Middle East | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Eclectic Sushi Links

Sushi_art_1Apparatus For Forming Sushi Rolls

California Sushi Academy in Venice

Body Sushi by Gary Arabia (From "Metafilter") - 8/19/03

Catalina Offshore Products - delivering fresh Uni for over 20 years

Chocolate Sushi - 2/3/04

Clubbing at the "O Sushi Cafe" in Brea, California

Crocheting Sushi - 10/27/03

Eating Fugo (Blowfish)

Fake sushi - 9/27/03

Futomaki Candles (From "Digital Sushi" )

"I love Sushi" Game

Japanese Sushi cat - 1/21/04


Kosher Sushi Restaurants , "Sushi Metsuyan"

Live Seafood

Memo lays down the law on sushi - 10/27/03

Natto, fermented soybeans - MMMMMM....

Pixelated Sushi chefs

Rolling your own sushi - 10/30/03

Spicy Tune Maki Icon - 9/16/03

Sushi & tofu magazine

sushi_foodSushi Clock and Watches

Sushi Etiquette and Sushi Comic Books (& more at the comprehensive Sushi Encyclopedism)

"Sushi Never Sleeps" by Clifford Pickover - 9/17/03

Sushi Robots ..."machine (that) is the most high speed in the world..."

Terminology of Sushi

Todai: All-you-can-eat-Japanese-seafood-buffet

Tsukiji Wholesale Fish Market – visits by Philip Greenspun and by Brad Templeton . A panorama

Urchins dot Com

Walking sushi - 11/6/03

Wasabi Farms

Which Type of Sushi are You?

Got interesting Sushi Links? Please submit them here!

January 31, 2004 in Food - Sushi | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Beside Grow-a-Brain, here is a list of other Real estate Blogs. If you know of others, please send them to us for review.

soldAttitude: Becky Blogs from IRED - 1/2/04

The France Blog , Everything you wanted to know about France, from "French Property Digest" - 7/18/03

San Luis Obispo Real Estate Blog by Keith Byrd from Pismo Beach, CA.

Fran and Rowena blog - Double Agents from La Cananda, CA and blogging daily - 9/7/03

Beautiful Santa Barbara Blog by Gary and Laury Woods is a good, new blog - 6/23/03

Home blog is a generic template geared more toward the home-owner

John Mudd in Pinellas Park, FL started a good weblog with irregular postings.

Location, location, location started 6/17/03 - (Somewhere in Florida?...), seems to be the best of the bunch with regular postings..

Moving to Portland is not a blog, but has an extensive link section, more than most average Realtor sites - 10/5/03

William Quick's blog, The San Francisco Real Estate Blog

Pirate Cafe , A creative blog about more than real estate - 10/29/03

Real Estate Randomness - The first Real Estate Blog from Minnesota, by Brent Kleinheksel - 8/16/03

"Smarter Agent" CEO Brad Blumberg lets you peer into the mind of a savvy real estate pro - discuss the best places to find and buy real estate - and learn about new technology... - 11/11/03

Things to do in Sacramento , by Kathy Lockwood - 8/16/03 (and Particle Wave - 9/7/03)

Government Auctions Blog! - An excellent concept - 9/28/03

Tri-C Real Estate Law is written by Carol Irvin J.D., Instructor of Real Estate in Cleveland

for_saleAlicia Jenkins of Coldwell Banker in Rio Rancho, NM has a list of these real estate blogs on her website

Urban Living Seattle by Heather Williams of Coldwell Banker that started in October 2002

Iron Hanks' Real Estate & Foreclosures Information, Henry Imbriaco's blog - 10/5/03

Investing in Real Estate started publishing in August 2002 by "newbie investors" Troy & Rachel Ross, and has a good page of Links relevant to investments - 7/17/03

We begin to see many "Real Estate Blogs" that are built by Bots all in the same format and are probably sold to realtors as a cookie-cutter package, like the Nanaimo Realty weblog - Mmmmm... 9/28/03

Here is an article from April 28, called The Real Estate World: A Perfect Candidate for Blogs and WiFi (by Blair Friedeman)

"Desert Modernism" , a new blog about renovating an Alexander home in Palm Springs - 8/31/03

Discontinued real estate blogs: Banker is Larry Klapow's Blog. Drew of City Habitat from New York City. Relocate to Boulder Colorado started on 6/30/03. Southwest Florida Real estate . Help blog . Bethanny Davis's Cute Writer Girl. Real Estate Wisdom from Oceanside, California ... Many more...

If you have a real estate blog not on my complete list of all Real Estate Blogs you can post a comment here, or email me with your URL & notes

January 31, 2004 in Real estate Blogs | Permalink | Comments (66) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Comedians Collection.

Carlin_george_1"Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse". And more Groucho Marx quotes - 12/23/03

All of Monty Python Scripts: Here is the The Ministry of Silly Walks. The Bright Side Ringtone

Autographs of famous comedians, from Cheech & Chong to a blank check by Lenny Bruce (why'd he do that?) - 11/11/03

Carlin-Leary Personality Assessment Matrix. (From Gary L. Dryfoos) - 9/21/03

Celebrating Christopher Walken

Charlie Chaplin - 11/11/03

Dave Barry started a blog

Dennis Miller's Advice on What We Want From the Opposite Sex (and the "Dennis Miller Talking Action Figure", with 21 snide phrases - 11/5/03). "Trying to Help" - Dennis Miller explains his political re-incarnation - 11/27/03. The Miller's Crossing - "It's 4 a.m., and comedian Dennis Miller can't sleep..."

Did Bob Hope ever say anything funny? By Christopher Hitchens - 8/3/03

Ed Grimley travels the world. (From Side Salad) - 8/14/03

First ever Arab-American Comedy Festival... (From Jeff Jarvis's Buzz Machine) - 11/24/03

Hate-mail sent to Margaret Cho, after her comments at the MoveOn.org show a few days ago. Beware - Lots of profanities - 1/16/04

If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps, J
ust purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!
And... always look on the bright side of life...

Jango Edwards, an American clown living in Europe

Monty_pythonJohn Cleese lookalike & impersonator

Kookclub (From Coudal Partners) - 7/10/03

Laurel and Hardy, and Laurel and Hardy ventriloquist dummies

Leno, Letterman jokes and JayWalking

"Live from New York" An Oral History of Saturday Night Live, by Tom Shales and James Andrew Miller

Loading George Carlin

"MacHomer", The Simpsons do Macbeth in Alabama, with Rick Miller's one-man show - 10/31/03

Marijuanalogues and their Videos - 9/8/03

Mr Bill got his own website - 12/21/03

Penn & Teller - topics of the new show

Politically Incorrect - a transcript of the last show

Ricky Jay's cards as weapons

Robert De Niro Monologue on SNL, on the search for Al-Qaeda's suspects. (From "Attu") - 1/14/04

Robert Schimmel (Language!) - 7/27/03

Shazia Mirza, A female, Muslim, British domedian

SNL transcripts

Stand Up Comedians index

Steven Wright Jokes

Ten worst Comedians ever

SwimThe Complete Lenny Bruce

Vaudeville Slang - 8/24/03

"What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know." From Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy (And Not by Jack Handy - 9/19/03)

Will Ferrell gives the 352nd Harvard Commencement Speech

World's least desirable action figure - "Mr. Creosote" from Monty Python's “Meaning of Life”. Splatter fans, this is a must-have. (From Cuppa Tea) - 1/4/04

"Writing Is Easy" by Steve Martin

Many Of The Best Comedians in the World Here

January 31, 2004 in Comedians | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Here are our 2003 Eclectic Animal links
(Dogs & Cats Links Below)

Put_a_tiger 49 feet snake, 'World's longest snake' captured - 12/30/03

Alligator Borders Postcards at the turn of the Century - (From "Plep") - 10/11/03

American Humane Images Contest Winners 2002

Amphibian biology and conservation

Animals at War - (From "Quasimeta" )

Animal Congregations, or What Do You Call a Group Of.....?

Animal Sounds


Ants - The World Ants Slide Show

Apple snails (From Nils Sager's "Kosmonautentraum") - 12/11/03

Art Nouveau Snakes

Baby Camels (And Wild Herds of Camels in Texas? - 11/29/03)

Baby Hedgehog - 10/14/03

Bats and Bat Guano - 9/27/03

Bear Cam

Bug of the Month

Bugs , Beetles , Butterflies and the Insect Company

Bunny Love (turn up your speakers) - 7/31/03

Cockerel, monkey, goat & donkey pyramid

Colossal squid surfaces in Antarctic

Cows on Parade Art Exhibit Gallery

Cheetah is 67 yr. old

Currently I am working with images of frogs in needlepoint . Also, Frog Nirvana - 9/21/03

Darwin fish evolves - 7/30/03

Disgusting Hagfish - (From "Vignamaru")

Dwarf chameleons born in UK (Music warning!)

Fish Posters of the World

Giant Catfish is nearly Extinct (Here are 992 species of catfish - 9/28/03)

Goat Rider - (From "Blort") and Test Your Knowledge of Goat Anatomy - 8/25/03. The Goat Tower and Cult of the Goat - Bock Beer label & a homonym gone awry ... 11/24/03

Hear Whales Sing

Horse Balls and Horse Diapers - 9/27/03

How about Live Monarch Butterflies to be released at special occasions? Wedding Special $84 per dozen.. - 12/14/03

How Ants Find Food - 12/20/03

Hubcaps Fish

Snow_monkey_1 Human Descent (From "Fish Bucket" - 9/27/03)

I'm sure you always wanted to hear The sound of a herring fart. Here's your chance - Fish farting may not just be hot air - 11/6/03

In Search of "No-Hand" - 10/25/03

Japanese Insects - 1/15/04

Jellyfish at the Monterey Bay Aquarium

Koko - The Gorilla Foundation

Kanzi (From "Ape Biographies") - 7/30/03

Komodo Dragon Photo Gallery

Leeches USA - 7/12/03

Leon, the domesticated lion - 12/21/03

Lion Hyena War (Graphic meat eating media-clip. From "Flabber") - 11/30/03

Mechanical Grasshopper - 1/19/04

Monkey postcards (From "Ober Dicta") and Little Red Monkey - 8/16/03

Most Impressive Maggot Pics - 8/17/03

Newly-discovered Cuban mammal, Porcupine of the Damned (From "Reenhead") - 9/27/03

Octofungi -An intelligent sculpture

Octopus Fishing in Tokelau

One Thousand Cranes

Pet Portraits - 9/27/03

Pale Male, a beautiful red-tailed hawk in the heart of New York City, (From "Mookie") - 7/17/03

Penguins (And Penguin Sweaters - 11/23/03)

Photographs of Scorpions - 8/16/03

Pig Gig (From "Geisha Asobi") - 8/25/03

Polar Bear International and Purple Bear

Rainbow Snail (From "Reality Carnival") - 8/15/03

Randall's Diving Pigs, a pig show from Arkansas. (From "Attu") - 12/13/03

Salamander Feeding Movies

Cute_kitten_1 Sand Shrimps

Seal . (From "Larry Hammer") - 7/13/03

Slugs , Albino Snakes and Leopard Slug Aerial mating

"Snakes", a short, animated film based on a woodcut by M.C. Escher, with music by Eric Satie. (From "Coolio") - 1/18/04

Spiders: Neon spider webs, color-coded graphics showing the path of the spider during the construction of a web (From "Jerry Kindall")

Huge Spider webs - Watch the gallery! (and Spider Catcher - 9/27/03)

Sunfish, the strangest fish in the ocean

Tasmanian Giant Freshwater Lobster (From "Surreal Coconut") - 10/7/03

The All Species Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to the complete inventory of all species of life on Earth within the next 25 years

The Visible Cow - 9/27/03

Tiny Humming Bird Nest (From "BoingBoing") – Cute but slow to load - 8/20/03

Turtle Trax

Urban's Ferrets

Virtual Camel Riding - 9/5/03. "Stuffed Camel" recipe (From "J-Walk" - 1/19/04)

Virtual Pet Cemetery

Whale Flatulence Captured in Photo- 8/15/03

What are Cow Magnets ? Cow magnets are popular with dairy farmers and veterinarians to help prevent Hardware Disease in their cattle... (From "Torrez") - 11/18/03

What is a Cockroach? - 9/20/03

What the heck is it (From "Geisha Asobi") - 8/23/03

Worlds Largest Rattlesnake Round Up (from "The Morning News")

Mad_cowWorm Farm

Zenkey , Half Zebra Half Donkey - 9/19/03

And here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Cat Links.

200 Kittens

Bukey, the Krispy Kreme Donut Eating funny, crazy, picky cat: "Each time I open up the box she walks over to it and digs in and gets herself a donut" - 1/13/04

Cartoons for Buddhists from "Dharma The Cat"

Cat art parody

Cat in a basket (From "Kuulnyuuz") - 9/27/03, and in the hat

Cat Juggling - 9/03/03

CatSeat and Its Usage

Catwoman Picture Gallery

Computer monitor perch for your cats to view (From ”Dancing with cats”)

Don't let this happen to your cat - Stop the danger. Close the seat! Btw, "This page is memory of Minki. We miss you" is the funny part - 10/29/03

”Free Cat” - 9/12/03

Funny Cats (from "Milk & Cookies")

Music for cats & friends and Sound effects for your cat

Own a Bobcat, Bring the wild inside

Petoffice Cats - 12/14/03 (Thank you, "eTe!" )

Cat_carry_1 Random Kittens generator , Rate My Kitten Top Twenty , Russian Cats and Cat of the Day

Welcome to the Cat House , The Exotic Feline Breeding Compound's in Rosamond, California

What goes on in a Cats head? - 1/21/04

Why Cats Paint (With Video clips) - 11/2/03

Why does my cat do this?

Vegan Cats - 1/14/04

Ze Frank cat Annie

Ziggy, the Interactive Cat (From "Mirabilis") - 8/17/03

And here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Dog Links

101 results for David Letterman's Top Ten Lists about Dogs - 9/27/03

150 Recognized breeds by the American Kennel Club

20 reasons dogs don't use computers

206 breeds of dogs in a shell

5 Types of Dog in Chinese Astrology

7 Best Sleep Positions for dogs & cats (From Dina R.)

Boots for dogs

Bottled Water for dogs, Toilet Water, Puddle Water, Hose Water and Gutter Water, the world’s first vitamin fortified bottled water specifically formulated
for your dog...

Bowlingual, the dog translator - 11/1/03

Britain's smallest pup and Del Mar's ugliest dog

Canaan dogs of the Bedouin

Canine Cousine, a dog bakery - 8/10/03

Cutest ...Puppy ...in ...Town... (From "Sore Eyes")

"Goggles" - Sunglasses for Dogs (From "Yahoo Most Emailed Photos") - 8/25/03

Dog Island is apparantly a hoax

Dog Motels in New Zealand

Dog Nose Heaven and Giant Nostrils

Dogs and cats forever

Drinking_dog Dogster , where every dog has a webpage

Dr. Tom Cat’s Famous Dog Quotes, and other Memorable Dog Quotes -"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" - 9/21/03

English Bulldogs - 8/6/03

Excerpt from 'The New Work of Dogs' By Jon Katz - 10/21/03

Exploding dogs

Famous People's Dogs

Fancy Dogwear

Humping Dog Toy - 10/9/03

If Christ had a dog (from "Dogs on the Web")

"I was sitting out on the porch with my dog Pete", and "Pick up lines that went unnboticed" - 1/10/04

Kasha Lowy's Bark Mitzvah (Warning: "Hava Nagila" in background!) and Milo's Tongue (From "Presurfer")

Knitting with Dog Hair

Kosher Food for Dogs - 9/27/03

Moennitarri Warrior in the Costume of the Dog Dance

Morning Breath

Movies about Dogs including "Best in Show" (and my favorite "My life as a Dog" )

Musical Dog Sport Association (Basicly, dancing dogs)...

New Guinea Singing Dog Conservation Society (From "Coolio") - 11/4/03

Perfumes for your dog -10/14/03

Poison-free Homes - 7/16/03

Poker Night - 7/16/03

Our_neigbor Our neighbor is looking for a good home for their dog. He said it's really lovable and friendly with the kids, but his wife said the dog makes her nervous when it stares at her. She wants it out of the house. If you know of anyone, let me know... - 10/13/03

Scarry dog custume (From "Boing Boing")

Screensavers with dogs

Signs of dogs

Tiny Chihuahuas (From "Everlasting Blort") - 8/20/03

Tiny Dogs Clothing and Doggy Fashion with an English Accent - 9/27/03

Umbrellas for Dogs - 12/28/03

Va-poo-Rize with Jack Black - 7/27/03

Vegan recipes for dogs, includes Hummus, Mushroom Pesto Biscuits & Terrier Tea Cakes (From "Yummy Wakame" - 10/3/03). Also, Vegetarian Dogs.

Thank_you When Should You Put Your Dog Down? How to make a decision you never want to make ... - 11/1/03

Winners of the Dog/Owner Look-alike contest and the losers (on left)...

Wheel Chairs for Dogs - 9/27/03

Where to find Dog-Friendly Employers - 9/20/03

Women And Dogs - 1/5/04

Many More Unusual News about Animals Here

January 31, 2004 in Animals | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Here are the 2003 “Grow-a-Brain” Language Links

Say_it_in_sign_language 100 words most often misspelled

1,342 languages at "The Rosetta Project" - comparative linguistic research and education - 1/7/04

2000 Languages at "The Language Museum"

2 lists of Clichés as long as your arm, (from the extensive 'Electric Eclectic ')

An ambigram, or Inversion is a word or a group of words which can be read in at least two different ways. (The one on the right here spells "Illuminatti".) Scott Kim, the premiere ambigram artist has many links to samples in different languages - 11/3/03

Acronym Finder and Acronym Dictionary

Anagram anything and The Winners of the Anagrammy Awards

Ashleigh Brilliant's bon-mot

ASL primer and ASL Fingerspelling

Australian Slang

Bad Haiku and The Periodic Table of Haiku

Banished Words of 2002

Book Parodies 2002

Common Errors in English

Corpus Scriptorum Latinorum, a digital library assembling the entire corpus of Latin Literature (From "Mirabilis") - 8/3/03

Crazy thoughts and Crazy Libs

Esperanto, (Thanks, Gayle. Finally you send me a link!) - 10/24/03

Inventing an alphabet, real or pretend (From Cox Crow)

International Tongue Twisters

In what language do deaf people think? The reply is from Cecil's "Straight Dope" - 12/30/03

"It's Too Hot" in many languages (From the BBC) - 8/29/03

Language sites on the internet

How to say "Ouch" in many languages : Monstra mihi pecuniam!

Legalese - Eschew, Evade, and/or Eradicate Legalese

Linguistics Anomalies"Lord, give us the wisdom to utter words that are gentle and tender, for tomorrow we may have to eat them", from Peter Norvig's Familiar and Unfamiliar Quotations - 12/29/03

Merriam-Webster's and Oxford English Dictionary's Word of the day

Minims - by Tom Weller

"More armpits than brain cells?" - The Canonical List of Fulldeckisms (As in, "He's not playing with a full deck.") Total entries: 1488

Mother Tongues - tracing the roots of Computer Languages

New York Jargon , A guide from ”The Morning News”

Numbers from 1 to 10 in Over 4500 Languages. (From "J-Walk" ) - 11/27/03

One-Liners: "I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is improving."

Online Rhyming Dictionary for poetry & songwriting - 12/13/03

Oxymorons and Pleonasms, their opposites Palindromes, Political Palindromes and The longest Palindrome

Patrick O'Brian's Nautical Expressions in the Vernacular

Phrontistery, an rich source of etymology and rare English words

"Principles of Newspeak", An appendix to "1984" (Written by George Orwell in 1948). Un-words (Politically Incorrect) examples: Factories replaced by "Plants", Illegal Aliens replaced by "Undocumented Immigrants", Secretary replaced by "Administrative Assistant"... - 11/15/03

Prison Slang

Pseudonyms & aliases

Pun of the Day : "Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine"... - 11/29/03

"Quotes, Quotes, Quotes" and Brainy Quotes

Recently-Coined phrases at "WordSpy"

Regional Slanguages

Saul Gorn's Rarely used clichés

"Scifaiku", haiku about science-fiction (From "Daily Jive") - 12/4/03

Simpler Words

Speak Jamaican

Speech accent archive (From "Boing Boing") - 1/15/04

Spoonerism are phrases, sentences, or words in language with swapped sounds

Teen Lingo : "Girl, you be jawsin . . . you're jus' selling woof tickets" - 11/9/03

The F-word , The French Connection UK and "Expletive deleted" It has been taboo for more than 500 years. But from fcuk to Four Weddings and a Funeral, the f-word has become so commonplace it now seems acceptable in everyday conversation. Is it no longer obscene? And if it isn't, what is? - 11/7/03

The illustrated letter

The last word from the latest post is up for grabs. It's the acronym for the next (From "Evhead" )

Translate anything with "Babelfish"

Turkish proverbs (From "Bifurcated Rivets" ) - 10/15/03

Visual Thesaurus

Witty Quote of the Day - Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.

Word Games - 1300 images! (From Graham Toal)

Word Pirates , Take Back pirated Words and Phrases - 9/19/03

Wordplay and Word of the day in 100 Languages

Yiddish - 10/17/03

You've heard of Engrish and Spanglish before, now here is Chinglish - 11/2/03

What is the most beautiful sounding combination of words in the English language? - 12/21/03

Weird Words

Many More Unusual Lingulogiscal Links Here

January 31, 2004 in Languages | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

American Eagle Bookends, "The Perfect Way to Display Your Conservative Books"

Amethyst Bookends

CD holder from Hogri

Globe Bookends

Hamburger Bookends

booksimon.jpgInspirational brass "Praying Hands" bookend

Jay & Silent Bob Bookends

Nature's Eemporium Bookends

Thomas Jefferson Bookends (From the Library of Congress Collection)

Zorro Bookends and Bookends from Haiti. (From Art for Housewives)

More Unusual Bookends Here

January 31, 2004 in Bookends | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack