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July 27, 2007

Don’t eat the bread

Bread_eating When I visited my family last month, I heard 2 typical Israeli stories that cracked me up:

1. My aunt was sitting next to a stranger at a big dinner, and he started munching on the appetizers, so she elbowed him and whispered: “Don’t eat the bread – there’s a lot of good food coming”…

2. My cousins had to drive somewhere and got lost, so they asked a stranger “How can we get to so-and-so street?”
His answer: “Why do you have to go there?”…

Elsewhere:
A Rose is A Rose

Two Japanese businessmen are talking during their afternoon dip in the hot baths at the Geisha house.
The first businessman says, “Hiroko-san, I have some unpleasant news for you. Your wife is dishonoring you.”
His friend can’t believe what he hears and asks for more information.
“It is as I said, Hiroko-san. Your wife is dishonoring you - she is making love every afternoon with a foreigner of the Jewish faith.”
Shocked, Hiroko-san decides to go home and confront his wife. He faces her and says, “I am told that you are dishonoring me with a foreigner of the Jewish faith.”
She replies, “That’s a lie. Where did you hear such mishegoss”

An old man sits down in the confessional at the church, and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
The priest says, "Tell me of your sins, my son."
The old man says, "Well, Father, I'm 90 years old; I've been married to my wife for 70 years, and in all that time I've always been faithful. But last night, I made love to two beautiful 19-year-old girls! We did it three times!"
The priest says, "I see. Tell me, how long has it been since your last confession?"
The old man says, "Oh, I've never been to confession. I'm Jewish."
The priest says, "So what are you telling me for?"
And the old man says, "I'm telling everybody!"

(More at Dirty Jokes for Grandma)

A Harvard man and a Yale man are at the urinal. They finish and zip up. The Harvard man proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while the Yale man immediately makes for the exit.
The Harvard man says, "At Harvard they teach us to wash our hands after we urinate."
The Yale man replies, "At Yale they teach us not to piss on our hands."

Comic Wonder, a competitive arena for joke-tellers

(An old reminder about bread)

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July 27, 2007 in Jokes | Permalink

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Comments

The family stories are a lot funnier than those old chestnuts. ;D

Posted by: NancyJoy at Jul 27, 2007 8:57:11 PM

Yeah! Thanks for mentioning our site, Comic Wonder! We are very appreciative of the plug! We have been online for only a month now... so the site is very much a work in progress. We are rethinking many design elements this month and would love to gather some knee-jerk opinions. Did you experience any technical glitches? Did you feel inspired to comment on a joke? Were you able to find good jokes quickly?

We'll take any and all feedback! I can be reached at Kelly (at) Comic Wonder (dot) com.

Thanks again for visiting!

Kelly Fitzsimmons
Founder/CEO
Comic Wonder (www.comicwonder.com)

Posted by: Kelly Fitzsimmons at Jul 28, 2007 12:16:31 PM